Living with a roommate often means accepting that two people can have very different habits, routines, and lifestyles under the same roof. In this case, the narrator works night shifts at a hospital, which means her normal schedule is almost the opposite of her roommate’s. While she is sleeping during the day, her roommate is awake and moving around the apartment. The two women also have very different approaches to possessions. The roommate is passionate about minimalism and “underconsumption,” owning relatively few clothes, makeup products, and other personal items.
The narrator has never had a problem with that and has even been willing to let her roommate borrow most of her clothes. There was only one condition: she had to ask first. Unfortunately, that boundary gradually stopped being respected. Because the narrator was asleep during the day, her roommate apparently began entering her bedroom, taking clothes without asking, wearing them, and returning them later. After repeatedly explaining that borrowing was fine but taking things without permission was not, the narrator eventually decided that words were no longer enough and installed a lock on her bedroom door.
I’m A 22-Year-Old Hospital Worker Who Works Night Shifts And Has To Sleep During The Day Just To Keep Up With My Schedule
She’s Really Into Minimalism And What She Calls “Underconsumption,” So She Owns Very Few Clothes, Makeup Products, And Other Personal Items
At First She Would Ask If She Could Borrow Some Of My Clothes, And I Was Completely Fine With It As Long As She Asked First And Returned Everything
I Thought We Had A Pretty Simple Understanding Until I Started Realizing That My Clothes Were Disappearing From My Room While I Was Asleep
When I Asked Her About The Missing Clothes, She Would Simply Say That She Was Just Borrowing Them As If That Automatically Made Everything Okay
So I Finally Did Something That I Thought Would Solve The Problem Without Another Argument: I Put A Lock On My Bedroom Door
She Thinks I’m Being Dramatic Over A Few Pieces Of Clothing, Especially Because She Owns Far Fewer Things Than I Do
I Even Checked With Our Landlord About The Lock Because I Didn’t Want To Create A Problem With The Apartment Or Break Any Rules
What does Reddit have to say about all this? Let’s find out.
What makes this roommate dispute complicated is that neither woman seems to view the situation in quite the same way. The roommate sees herself as someone who is simply borrowing clothes from a person who has already given her permission to do so. From her perspective, the fact that the narrator owns more clothing than she does may make the narrator’s reaction seem unnecessarily strict. But the narrator sees an important distinction between being allowed to borrow something and being allowed to enter someone’s private bedroom and take it without asking.
Her issue is not that her roommate occasionally wears one of her shirts or other clothing; she has explicitly said that she is comfortable sharing most of those things. The problem is that her roommate repeatedly ignored the one condition attached to that permission. Because the narrator works overnight and sleeps during the day, she also cannot simply keep an eye on her belongings. After multiple conversations failed to stop the behavior, she chose to lock her door while sleeping and while at work. She even checked with the landlord, who confirmed that the lock was acceptable. Now the question is whether protecting her private space was an entirely reasonable response or whether the lock created unnecessary tension in an already complicated living arrangement.
