Family dinners are usually supposed to be simple occasions where everyone can relax, enjoy some food, and spend time together, but one family’s meals have become increasingly uncomfortable because of a very unusual situation involving their daughter’s boyfriend. The 24-year-old man has been dating the user’s 21-year-old daughter for two years, and the relationship is serious enough that he regularly joins them for family meals and special occasions.
The problem is that he apparently has an intense fear of being seen eating. Despite sitting down at restaurants and ordering complete meals, he never actually takes a bite. Instead, he cuts up his food, moves it around his plate, and eventually either gives the untouched meal away or leaves it to be thrown out. The same thing happens at the family’s home when the mother prepares a home-cooked meal. She watches him accept a full plate, pretend to interact with the food, and then eventually scrape everything into the trash. While the boyfriend’s behavior may stem from a genuine fear or deeply rooted discomfort, the repeated waste has left the family frustrated, especially when they are paying for expensive restaurant meals.
My Twenty-One-Year-Old Daughter Has Been Dating Her Boyfriend For Two Years, And Their Relationship Has Become Serious Enough That He Regularly Joins Our Family Meals
Her Boyfriend Has Always Seemed Like A Normal Part Of Their Lives, Except For One Extremely Strange Behavior That Happens Every Single Time Food Is Involved
Despite Regularly Sitting Down For Meals With The Family, He Somehow Manages To Avoid Eating In Front Of Anyone Every Single Time
Despite Apparently Having No Intention Of Eating In Front Of Anyone, He Continues To Order Complete Meals At Restaurants Like Any Other Customer
Instead Of Demanding That He Eat, I Asked My Daughter Why He Couldn’t Simply Stop Ordering Food That He Apparently Had No Intention Of Consuming
At This Point The Question Is No Longer Whether He Is Hungry, But Whether We Should Keep Paying For Meals That We Already Know Will End Up In The Trash
Wondering what Reddit thinks? Let’s take a look.
The situation leaves the parent caught between two very different concerns: respecting a young man’s unusual fear and cultural expectations while also protecting their own household from what they see as unnecessary and increasingly expensive waste. The daughter has explained that her boyfriend believes it is rude in his culture to refuse food, which may help explain why he continues accepting full plates even when he has no intention of eating.
From his perspective, accepting food could be a way of showing politeness and avoiding offense, even if the result seems strange to everyone around him. However, from the parent’s perspective, politeness becomes difficult to appreciate when an expensive restaurant meal is ordered and left completely untouched, or when a carefully prepared home-cooked meal ends up in the garbage. The parent has already tried to address the issue indirectly by speaking privately with their daughter rather than confronting her boyfriend. Now, however, they are considering a much more drastic solution: simply stopping the invitations to family meals altogether. The question is whether that would be an understandable household boundary or an unnecessarily harsh response to someone who may be dealing with a genuine phobia.
