Helping a close friend find a new job might seem like an obvious thing to do, especially when that friend is facing a layoff and happens to be qualified for an opening at your workplace. But what happens when your friendship has already been tested by a difficult professional history that was never properly resolved? One 33-year-old woman is facing exactly this dilemma after her best friend of nearly ten years asked her for a referral at her current company.
Years earlier, the two worked together, and the friendship took a painful turn when the friend received a promotion and began treating her like a personal assistant, demanding help with everything from scheduling to personal errands. Despite repeated arguments, the friend never apologized or acknowledged her behavior. Now, with history threatening to repeat itself, the woman must decide whether loyalty means helping her friend or protecting her own peace at work.
My Best Friend Of Nearly Ten Years Is About To Lose Her Job, And Now She Expects Me To Help Her Land A Position At My Workplace Even Though Our Professional History Together Was A Nightmare
Years Ago, We Were Coworkers At The Same Company, And I Was Genuinely Happy When She Received A Promotion That Placed Her Higher In The Office Hierarchy Even Though She Was Never Actually My Supervisor
Things Finally Crossed A Line When She Actually Demanded That I Pick Up Her Dry Cleaning, And I Refused Because I Was Her Coworker And Friend, Not Someone Hired To Run Her Personal Errands
Despite All Those Arguments, She Never Apologized, Never Tried To Understand Why Her Behavior Had Hurt Me, And Never Acknowledged That She Had Crossed A Serious Professional Boundary
Unfortunately, Life Has A Way Of Bringing Old Problems Back At The Worst Possible Time, And Now My Current Workplace Is Hiring For A Position That My Best Friend Is Qualified To Fill
I Am Not Willing To Risk Becoming Her Unofficial Personal Assistant Again, Especially When She Has Never Taken Responsibility For How She Treated Me The First Time She Had A Higher Position
Let’s dive into what the Reddit jury has to say.
The situation has put a nearly decade-long friendship under serious strain, with one woman believing she is protecting herself and the other accusing her of being selfish during a difficult period. Although the friend is qualified for the position and is facing a layoff, the potential workplace arrangement raises legitimate concerns because their previous professional dynamic was never resolved. The woman is especially reluctant to make a referral when her friend refuses to acknowledge the behavior that caused so much frustration the first time around.
Even an apology might not guarantee that their working relationship would be different, particularly if the friend still believes she did nothing wrong. At the same time, refusing to help someone close to you can feel harsh when they are searching for employment. With freelance work and savings reportedly available to her friend, however, the woman does not believe she is leaving her in financial crisis. Is she being unnecessarily unforgiving, or is she right to keep an unresolved friendship problem out of her professional life?
