Breakups are complicated enough when two people simply decide that their relationship isn’t working, but things become much messier when there are already plane tickets, hotel reservations, money, and months of emotional uncertainty involved. My ex-girlfriend and I had been trying to figure out whether there was still a future for us after going long distance and breaking up once before. When she came back and said she regretted the breakup, she suggested that we take a trip together, spend a week with each other, and use that time to decide whether we should officially get back together.
I agreed; she planned the trip, and I paid my half because I genuinely believed we were both going into it with the same intentions. Then I unexpectedly lost my job, brought up the possibility of moving to her country, and watched her completely panic before eventually ending things again. She also cancelled the trip, leaving me unemployed, disappointed, and stuck with money I had already spent. With the holiday only a week away, I started wondering whether I should simply go by myself rather than let everything I paid for disappear.
My Ex-Girlfriend And I Had Gone Long Distance Four Months Ago, And Not Long After That She Suddenly Decided She Wanted To End Our Relationship
Instead Of Immediately Getting Back Together, She Suggested A Trip Where We Could Spend A Week Together And Decide Afterwards Whether Our Relationship Had A Future
Then Just Before The Trip, My Entire Situation Changed When I Suddenly Lost My Job And Found Myself Unemployed And Unsure What My Future Was Going To Look Like
Instead Of Being Excited About The Idea, She Completely Freaked Out And Nearly Had A Panic Attack During Our Phone Call
I Was Completely Taken Aback By Her Reaction, And A Few Days Later I Told Her That Maybe We Needed To Slow Everything Down And Give Her Some Space To Figure Out What She Actually Wanted
I Was Obviously Devastated And Started Wondering Whether I Had Accidentally Caused The Breakup By Bringing Up Moving To Her Country Too Quickly
Then The Reality Of The Cancelled Holiday Hit Me Because The Trip Was Only A Week Away And I Had No Way Of Getting My Money Back For The Flights Or Hotel
Since She Had Organised The Hotel Booking, I Reached Out And Asked If She Could Simply Put The Reservation In My Name So I Could Use The Holiday I Had Already Paid Toward
I Could Technically Afford To Pay Her Half, But At This Point It Has Become A Matter Of Principle More Than Money
She Is Currently Paying Me Back Money She Already Owes Me From During Our Relationship, And I Suspect That May Be Part Of The Reason She Suddenly Doesn’t Want Me Using The Hotel
I Want To Make It Clear That She Pulled Out Of The Trip After I Had Already Paid My Half, So I’m Not Trying To Take Something She Paid For Without Contributing
Now it’s Reddit’s turn to weigh in on this mess.
At this point, the relationship itself isn’t really the question anymore. My ex and I are completely broken up, and after the way everything unfolded, I’m not looking for another chance or trying to use this holiday as an excuse to get back into her life. What I’m struggling with is whether it’s unreasonable to want to use a trip that I already paid toward after she decided she no longer wanted to go. I understand why she doesn’t want to pay for half of a hotel that I would now be using alone, but from my perspective, we originally booked the trip together, split the costs, and I had already paid my share before she pulled out.
I’m unemployed right now, the flights and hotel are already paid for, and I was genuinely excited about having the trip. She has also been paying me back money she already owed me, which makes the situation feel even more complicated because I can afford to pay her if necessary, but doing so feels like I’m buying out something we had already agreed to share. Now I’m left wondering whether this is simply an unfortunate financial consequence of a breakup or one final petty disagreement between two people who clearly need to move on.
