AITA for wanting to keep our pets

After years of adopting pets together, her husband now wants all of them gone. She can't bear to give up animals she has cared for for years.

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AITA for wanting to keep our pets

When a couple adopts pets before having children, nobody imagines the day those animals become the biggest fight in the house. After 18 years together, two cats and several dogs, one wife now finds her husband wanting every animal gone. She is the one feeding, walking and comforting them, and she isn’t ready to let go.

AITA for wanting to keep our pets - My husband and I have been together for 18 years. Before our child we adopted 2 cats + 3 dogs. And recently, I’ve realized he’s autistic. When we bought our suburban house (so small and yet so lucky for us) he decided to get the first big dog. We already had a small dog but he insisted on the big one (against my concerns) bec he wanted to bring her hunting. She was very good but suddenly became reactive w/ other dogs at 2yo. He never took her hunting. It was a brief obsession as is common with autistic individuals.
Somehow we decided to get another dog, same hi-energy specialty breed. There was an incident with the little dog (he’s ok) so we rehomed to his parents. Hindsight is always 50/50 idk what we were thinking After the rehoming my hubby basically ignored the remaining dogs. I would cry over how he didn’t care about them anymore, and he would deny it over and over. Then we had a baby. Every little whimper, cry to go out, cat throw up, etc. he has a fit and says we need to get rid of all of these animals. We always keep the dogs separate from the baby for safety but that means even less space in our very small home for daily living. And it means me being very upset

The pets that once felt like part of the family slowly turned into a source of tension. Then the couple’s lives changed in the biggest way possible, and the cracks that were already there began to widen fast.

postpartum. I thought it was postpartum on his end too. He did the bulk of the work with the pets while I was pregnant (feeding, litter, backyard cleanup) and in the infant stage, but later admitted he hated them all and “no longer had any empathy” for them. He was tired of them being annoying/the bad smells/the hairs everywhere. I became 90% caretaker of the animals. Even if our toddler is insistent on being with me and the dog is crying, I have to ask hub to let the dog out or just get up and do it myself. The first big dog suddenly passed 2 months ago and he was surprisingly so heartbroken. He

Caring for a baby, a toddler and a house full of animals in a small home would test anyone. But the husband’s reaction went beyond tired frustration, and his wife found herself carrying almost everything alone.

said something about pent up shame/regret with her personality change and making her live in our small house. It gave me hope that he would better care for our other dog but it’s been opposite. He hates him. The dog is obv quite anxious without his companion & we had to up his meds. He cries on days I can’t work in the office room and be with him. He has also busted through our baby gates and been destructive (garbage, broken window blinds) if we’re gone for more than 3 hours. In addition to dog woes, our oldest cat now has a thyroid issue and cries every morning at 5 am for food (& thyroid pill), waking everyone if I’m not up fast enough. Hubby actively yells

Just when she thought grief might soften him, it seemed to do the opposite. And the dogs aren’t the only ones caught in the middle, because the oldest family cat now has health problems of her own.

at her when she’s being vocal, which I hate, bec she’s a sick old lady. He wants me to take her for euth after I asked him to please do it. He won’t because I “went against our decision” when I didn't immediately put her down at the vet All of this has resulted in some serious resentment on both of our ends. I would say he’s the clear a-hole here except that he’s potentially living in a sensory nightmare? But it’s heartbreaking for me to have to say goodbye to animals I’ve loved and cared for, for all these years.

Keep the Pets or Let Them Go?

This one split Reddit more than most. Plenty of readers were furious with the husband and argued that a diagnosis, suspected or not, doesn’t excuse yelling at a sick old cat. But the top reply took a different angle: if the animals live in a home where someone resents them, finding them gentler homes might be the kindest choice for the pets. Where do you land? Should she fight to keep them, or let them go for their own sake? Tell us in the comments.

Source: This story was originally shared by u/Unlikely_Loquat5096 on r/AmItheA**hole.

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