Working from home sounds like the perfect arrangement until the people closest to you start treating “home” as if it also means “available.” For me, the problem is not my job itself but the fact that my parents have a long history of ignoring the boundaries I have tried to set around my work. Years ago, when I worked in formal offices, my dad repeatedly insisted on visiting my workplace even after I explained that bringing family members into those offices was not normal.
On one occasion, he actually walked into my boss’s office while my boss was speaking with a government client. At another job, he again wanted to see my office and meet my boss. He also used to call my office phone when I would not answer my cell, despite knowing I was not supposed to take personal calls at work. Now I work remotely, and my parents live only a mile away. I have deliberately kept that information from them because I am afraid that if they know I am home during the day, my work hours will quickly become family time.
I Feel Ridiculous Even Asking This, But After Years Of My Parents Ignoring Workplace Boundaries, I Still Do Not Trust Them With My Current Work Situation
I Have Never Told Them That I Work From Home Because I Am Genuinely Worried They Would Treat My House Like An Open Office And Show Up Whenever They Feel Like Hanging Out
Decades Ago, My Parents Came To My College City For What Was Supposed To Be My College Graduation, And My Dad Decided He Wanted To See Where I Worked
My Dad Eventually Walked Straight Into My Old Boss’s Office While My Boss Was In The Middle Of A Phone Call With A Government Agency
That Did Not Make The Visit Any Less Awkward Because This Was An Extremely Formal Office Where Nobody Ever Brought Their Family Members To Work
A Year Later, I Started A New Job At A University Newsroom And Somehow Found Myself Facing Almost Exactly The Same Situation All Over Again
But Showing Up At My Workplace Was Not The Only Boundary Problem Because My Dad Also Started Calling My Office Phone When I Did Not Answer My Cell
I Know This Might Make Me Sound Cold, But Every Workplace I Have Had Has Been Extremely Formal And Full Of Rules About Visitors And Personal Calls
So Instead Of Telling Them I Work From Home, I Have Kept Up The Story That I Still Work Locally And That My Company Uses A Coworking Subscription With Different Locations
Instead Of Treating My Workday Like A Workday, They Constantly Came Into My Office Asking Whether I Wanted Lunch Or Where They Could Find Towels
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I realize that keeping something as significant as my work arrangement from my parents may sound unnecessarily secretive, especially because I am not hiding anything harmful or illegal. But my concern is based on years of experience rather than a completely imaginary fear. I have already watched my parents walk into workplaces after I specifically told them not to, call my office for non-emergencies, and interrupt me repeatedly when I was working remotely during a visit.
Now they live close enough that dropping by my house would be incredibly easy, and they have already admitted that they sometimes drive past my neighborhood. I know they might genuinely believe that working from home means I have more flexibility, or that a quick visit would not be a big deal. But my workday is still my workday, regardless of whether my desk happens to be inside my house or inside an office building. I do not want to spend every morning wondering whether someone will suddenly knock on my door asking about lunch, towels, errands, or simply wanting to hang out. At the same time, I know maintaining a false story about where I work is not exactly ideal. So now I am wondering whether I am protecting a reasonable boundary or taking things too far by deliberately keeping my remote work situation from my parents.
