After eight years together and six years of marriage, OP and his wife had managed to live with one significant lifestyle difference without it becoming a serious problem: she was vegetarian, while he continued to eat meat. His wife had been vegetarian since she was 17, but according to OP, she had always described it as a personal preference and had repeatedly said that his decision to eat meat did not bother her. In fact, when they first got together, she was even willing to cook meat for him.
OP is also the primary cook in their household, preparing meals six days a week and taking considerable care to respect his wife’s dietary choices. He prepares her food separately, takes precautions against cross-contamination, and has even bought meat-free appliances for her use. However, there was apparently an assumption lurking beneath their arrangement that OP never knew about: his wife believed he would eventually become vegetarian too. Now, the smell from the chicken and salmon he regularly cooks has started making her feel queasy, and their different diets have become an increasingly heated source of conflict.
After Eight Years Together And Six Years Of Marriage, I Never Expected Our Different Food Choices To Become Such A Major Source Of Conflict
I’m Actually The One Who Cooks Dinner Six Days Out Of Seven, So I’ve Spent Years Making Sure Her Meals Are Prepared With Extra Care And No Risk Of Cross-Contamination
For Years We Had A Routine That Seemed To Work, Even Though I Continued Eating Meat While Making Sure Her Vegetarian Food Was Completely Separate
I Already Avoid Red Meat At Home And Don’t Eat Pork At All, But I Still Regularly Cook Chicken And Salmon As Part Of My Meal Prep
I’ve Tried Adjusting My Routine By Cooking Or Meal Prepping While She’s Sleeping In The Morning Or When She’s Outside, But Apparently Even Those Attempts Aren’t Enough Anymore
Let’s dive into what the Reddit jury has to say.
The difficult part of this situation is that there are actually two separate issues happening at the same time. On one hand, OP’s wife is experiencing a genuine physical reaction to the smell of the food he prepares, and their relatively small home makes it difficult for her to simply move away from the kitchen while he cooks. OP has already tried adjusting his routine by preparing meat while she is asleep or outside, but those efforts have not completely solved the problem.
On the other hand, OP does not believe that his wife’s discomfort should automatically require him to abandon a food choice he has never promised to give up. He has already made accommodations for her vegetarian lifestyle, including carefully separating her food and purchasing appliances specifically for meat-free preparation. What makes the situation more complicated is her admission that she had always assumed he would eventually become vegetarian, despite their earlier arrangement working differently. Now their disagreement is no longer simply about what they eat. It is about expectations, shared living space, personal choices, and whether one spouse can reasonably expect the other to make a permanent lifestyle change that was never actually agreed upon. OP’s position is clear: he loves his wife, but he is unfortunately not going vegetarian.
